I forgot about “me time” as soon as I became a mother. It was hard to even understand when the day began and ended. Once I’m up, the chores of breakfast, sending kids to school, cooking and cleaning take half a day. After doing the chores of the entire day it was almost evening and due to the hectic schedule, I simply used to doze off. There was nothing extraordinary and time always flew like that. Being a mum is a tiring job and raising children is the most exhausting job, even when you have the help of a spouse. Don’t get me wrong we wouldn’t trade it for the world but motherhood isn’t all glamorous and picturesque. For the first few months, the attention is totally focused on a baby and then on the wellbeing of the family. But you must remember that it’s vital to have me-time for your own wellbeing, happiness, and mental health. When you are happy and healthy you will keep others around you the same. We forget about ourselves when we become mothers and in the long run, that is very unhealthy.
Studies have shown that, despite the improvements in women’s lives over the years, women’s happiness levels have steadily declined, as their lives are more hectic now than they have ever been. More women are trying to manage a career, relationships, family, and other activities outside the home all at once. Sanctioning yourself to be completely consumed with motherhood, without a single portion of the day designated for you can destroy your relationships, your self-esteem and your ability to feel complete. So, it is important you have time for yourself as well but, the thing I’ve realized is that if you’re trying to find the time, it will never happen. You have to make time.
There are many benefits to incorporating me-time into your mom’s day, and here I’m going to tell you why me-time is important and how can you integrate it into your daily regime.
THE IMPORTANCE OF ME TIME AS A MOM
It Helps To Release Stress
The biggest reason why “me time” is important for moms is because it releases stress. The thing about being a mom is that you have to be on your feet and get used to this routine all day long. Think about motherhood that after a long day of raising kids don’t you feel tired? This can lead to having stress and stress can wreak havoc on your health. A little bit of “me time” releases that stress and tension allowing you to come back to your motherhood duties with a calm, peaceful soul. The first hurdle you need to overcome is to not feel guilty about it. Incorporating me-time will be a little hard at first but trust me it will be worth it and it will keep your sanity.
You Get To Have A Quiet Time
With all the schedules, hurdles and obligations of everyday life, you may even find it difficult to explore your own thoughts. So, if you allow at least 30 minutes from your usual rigors, I bet it will allow your mind to wander and give it a break from planning and working like a machine. All you need to do is just remain quite. Find a time in your daily schedule when you can arrange an absolute quiet time. You can find a comfortable place, grab a cup of coffee, sit on your porch and enjoy that time as you clear your mind. Have a hot bath and close your eyes while drifting your thoughts from the daily chores towards being calm. You can read books of your choice during this time as well.
P.S. Reading is one of my favorite things to do during me-time. I have also shared some of the books I love here.
You’re More Than A Mom
Being a mom is incredibly a big job, bigger than anyone can think, but try to remember you’re not “just a mom.” Before you were a mom is a made a woman with her own goals, hopes, and dreams. After your marriage and as you entered motherhood, these roles have somewhat fallen, they are not a part of you anymore. This shouldn’t be the way you live, my dear. These roles mold you into who you are and what you’re ahead to become. These roles may have been forgotten by you. But they are still there and you have your complete right to accomplish them. You must think of yourself as a woman of class and passion before thinking of yourself as a mother. This will help you clear your view of your goals and achievements and will build a foundation for your kids to later work on the same path.
An Example For Your Kids
As I said earlier, whatever you do and the life you live, your kids watch you. They watch you every single day. They set you as an example of what they want to become in the future. The way you act with them, or even talk to them molds them into who they will become. When you fail to take time for yourself and figure out things that keep you sane, you’re giving your children an authority to think themselves more valuable and the center of the universe. This may lead to selfishness.
Instead, if you try to give yourself some time, you teach them you have a life outside of them which is valuable too. Being a happy mom will do more good to them and being a mom who sacrifices herself and her passion for them. This way they will learn selflessness and compassion towards others as well. This is a powerful lesson as you’re teaching them to value themselves and others simultaneously.
Helps you Feel Grateful And Peaceful
We all certainly have things we are grateful for, but during the constant rush from one thing to another, it’s hard to see how truly blessed we are. There are little things we ignore on a daily basis for which we can express our gratitude. Taking quality time outside your everyday schedule will allow you to see what you have and be able to be thankful for. As a mother, we are in a constant urge to give be it love, care, time and of ourselves until there is nothing left. When you spend some time alone even 15 minutes in a day, you will be able to gain that inner peace which will allow you to give back without being resentful. These 15 minutes a day is vital and is kind of a date with yourself. It’s very important in order to stay in touch with who you are.
Plan a day alone at the gym or a ride to a quiet place, a trip to a salon or library if you love reading as I mentioned. This will give you a peaceful gateway to be a better and sound mom. Giving is the nature of a mother, and it takes great peace to do that successfully every single day.
Become A Happier Mother
The reason why people stress on mothers to be happy before making kids and family happier is that unless that certain trait isn’t present in you, you cannot give it to anyone else. The thing you are willing to spread should be present in you first. This is crucial in motherhood, the more you fill your personal fulfillment, the more you will be able to pour it in your children. The kids grow up in the blink of an eye. The activities and interests they have right now with you will fade in years to come. When all grown up, they will probably spend and enjoy their time more with their friends and co-workers than you. It is crucial you give them the time and happiness now by being a better mom yourself. Start cultivating a healthy, enjoyable fulfilling environment for them by regularly taking time for yourself and for them.
More Clarity and Less Distraction
As mothers, we often tend to be forced to make decisions on matters that need careful considerations. A mother is also the head of the family alongside the father and is required to carry out all kinds of family decisions on day to day basis. We have so many thoughts juggling in our minds throughout the day that often we lose clarity and focus on topics that need your attention the most because we’re exhausted focusing on things less important. It is because the day-to-day distractions have jumbled our mind, so it’s better to sometimes step away from the hectic routine to eliminate all distractions, this will help you regain your focus on things that need attention. Take some time to figure out your life and plan your day, your life ahead of time.
Helps To Focus on Emotions
Take some time out to schedule your day with your family as well. Keep your work aside for a while and plan out a strategy that works best for you and your family. Try to think of ways to minimize your work and other things diverting your attention and seek ways to maximize your time with your loved ones. This helps strengthens the bond between your family and help you release that stress buildup for days and weeks. Don’t allow yourself to become numb of your surroundings in your fast-paced, demanding life for if you are spreading yourself too thin, you’re missing a lot of opportunities.
As mothers and human beings above all, we’re emotional and it is mandatory to make time for our emotions. Plan a trip with your kids, spend some quality time with them keeping aside your social media and daily chores. Trust me you will love this quality me time.
HOW TO INCORPORATE ME TIME?
So, finally, we have established that me-time is crucial for your well-being and peace of mind. Now, the next question is how to actually incorporate that me-time in our daily regime. I understand you are very busy and you have a lot on your plate (mine too) and it is hard but not impossible to have a little me time in your life. There are a few different ideas to have quality time all to yourself on a daily basis or weekly heck once a month.
1- Get up early in the morning and have a small time for relaxing with a cup of coffee while your kids are asleep
2- Do some yoga or meditate, and find some time to work out in a day
3- Go for a walk alone, ride a bike or a peaceful drive.
4- Take a hot bubble bath
5- Watch your favorite TV series when you’re alone or when your baby naps.
6- If you are good at arts and crafts to make something out of it, be it a sketch or and DIY item.
7- Cook yourself a delicious meal of your choice and enjoy it with your favorite beverage and TV show.
8- Order a takeaway and enjoy your meal
9- Have a cozy night in with the partner or friend
10- Go to a salon for a pedicure and manicure. Or get yourself a haircut of a massage.
11- Go shopping and try different clothes. You can do window shopping and enjoy yourself. There is absolutely no compulsion to buy anything.
12- Enjoy some time in a peaceful and quiet corner of your home.
13- Get yourself to read a book or a magazine of your choice.
And that’s just a small sample of ideas for some me-time. I’m sure you can think of plenty more! No matter what you choose, remember to relax your mind and free it from all the worries for sometimes without feeling guilty about it.
When was the last time you had some me time as a mama? Or perhaps you’re dreaming of some me-time while you read this? Any plans to incorporate it? Do share in a comment below.